I Love Belly Bands

Being pregnant, it's pretty inevitable that your pants will stop fitting eventually. I was using the hair tie trick for a while, but all my hair ties must be stretched out or I was in some weird tweener stage, because they never held my pants tight enough. Each day around lunchtime, I'd be headed over to the microwave to warm up a bit of deliciousness, and WITHOUT FAIL I'd spot my hair tie on the ground. The first few times I'd eyeball the hair tie for a while, walking back and forth from the fridge thinking to myself: "Could it be mine? It's black, but everybody's are black. It seems about the same size - but everybody's are the same. It looks like a Goody Ouchless Elastic - but everyone's do! Dang it mass production!"

Now you may be wondering why I'd even entertain that conversation in my head. 

Well, first of all, you should know that I've had much more weird conversations with myself than that - that was actually quite thoughtful and logical. 

Second, do you know how difficult it is to check to see if you still have your pants hooked together with a hair tie without showing your underwear? IMPOSSIBLE. And while I pride myself on having some cute underwear, showing it off to my colleagues while their prepping their lunch is not on my to-do list. And while I could leave my pants unbuttoned for the day, it does not aide in sitting or bending-over of any kind, then I'd just be showing my daily number to my colleagues involuntarily. I NEEDED that hair tie. 

Eventually, I just started picking it up each and every day, not knowing how or when it fell off, but just knowing I needed it back. (No "bend and snap" here, this was the straight-up-and-down-my-waist-doesn't-bend move - you know, like when you were in high school and could still pull off those immodest, short skirts? I am not endorsing them, I'm just sayin'.)  After picking the hair tie up, I'd go hide in my cube and do a quick loop d' loop and get that sucker back where it belonged. 

But after a week or two of that, I got a little sick of it. Enter: The belly band. These things are magical and I may just be wearing one for the rest of my life. Calling all women - prego or not - buy one now! These puppies suck you in at all the right places. Plus, when considering that second piece of cake, with a belly band, you can tell yourself: "Go for it girl! You'll be pain free yet slimmy-slim after dinner thanks to your b-band."

I could go on and on, but my heart is swelling with so much pure love and joy for this product that it's starting to hurt and my eyes are watering.

Oh wait, that's indigestion. 

Side-effects, schmide-effects.  

At this point, I can think of no other way to end this but by typing: I LOVE BELLY BANDS. 

ps. See that pic up there? That's the pose I always strike when modeling it for the hubs. Hottttttttttttttttttttttt. 

Image Via


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