Thanks everyone for your kind comments, emails and messages from yesterday's post. If I wasn't sure if I was alone yesterday, I definitely know that I'm not today. You all are so sweet with your words of encouragement, and to all of you who asked if you could call/email me when you're pregnant for support the answers is - of course!
As I wrote back to one friend, many, many people have told me they know "how great a mom I will be" or, "how once I meet him, I'll be overwhelmed with love and joy that I'll do anything for my baby." And while it's nice to hear those things (And they're probably true!), it's like putting a band aid on something that you know needs major surgery - it stops the fear for a moment, but doesn't really deal with the heart issue.
Particularly being someone who's never really enjoyed children, it can be hard to picture myself ogling over a baby, and it's been tough for me to not just wish away this pregnancy and the impending "baby years" to head straight for the ten year old that can talk and interact with me (I know, I know, ten year olds are tough too).
But all of your kind words of encouragement and support yesterday were great to hear. Just hearing first-hand that many of you struggle with this same issue gives me so much relief! It's one of those things that you never really want to admit - am I right? I remember growing up when someone would ask "Do you want to hold the baby?" And all my friends would get this huge grin, shouting, "Yes, yes! I was hoping you'd ask! Me first!" I'd shrink back, feeling like I should say yes, but all I really wanted to know was if they had any snacks I could munch on in that diaper bag of theirs.
Honey Nut Cheerios preferably.
Or back when I was single and "ready to mingle" (Ha! Those were the days!) I would NEVER admit that I wasn't a kid person to a single eligible bachelor in the universe - it was like I was telling them I was less of a woman and wasn't "wife material" - I would be a horrible mother, so please just cross me off your list.
Thank goodness I was able to pull the wool over Mike's eyes - muwahahaha!
And now, forward we march! (Sorry, not sure why I felt the need to add that rallying cry, it just seemed appropriate as I shake off all the seriousness). Let's talk about lighter things tomorrow, shall we?