New Mom Confessions, Volume 2


Because these were such a hit last time, here are a few more for ya. Maybe this should become a regular series?
  • Apparently Eli is a bit of a chubster, (Although I swear on my life I was told he was in the 50th percentile at our last appointment!) and he barely fits into the Bumbo. But I want him to, so just I karate chop his little roly poly legs into the openings. Because of this, to get him out I have to be sitting on the ground, holding Eli with my arms, and using my feet to shimmy the Bumbo off of his butt. It is as ridiculous as it sounds. 
  • Sometimes I get bored of holding Eli and playing with him. But then other times I'm dying to wake him up after a two hour nap because I miss him so much. 
  • I'll do anything to make Eli laugh. I have even caught myself saying, "goochy goochy goo!" while I tickle his belly because I didn't know what other sound to make. Turns out, that sound didn't really work. It actually backfired and I received the pouty face as punishment for my foolish actions.
  • Speaking of the pouty face, let's be real - ALL KIDS HAVE ONE. I used to think Eli was unique and special because of his adorable pouty face. I would point it out and laugh, and Mike would even try to get the pouty face out of Eli just to show it off, but then I saw another kid do it, and another, and another. Their moms would point out how cute their kid's pouty face is and talk about it as if it was the only pouty face on the planet and I would just nod and smile - because you know, you never want to burst a proud-momma's bubble when they're gushing over their kiddo - but it was all I could do to not say - yeah, Eli has one just like that. 
  • I love hearing people say Eli is cute, or funny, or adorable. It's basically like they're telling me I'm cute, funny and adorable.
  • Baby clothing completely sucks. Everyone says they love it 'cause it's so cute and adorable, but I say it's a pain in my --- yeah, that. When attempting to buy clothes for Eli it's pretty much impossible to figure out what size to purchase. WHY IS THERE NOT A STANDARD IN THE INDUSTRY? Do we seriously need vanity sizing for babies? I've learned to take out all of Eli's clothes about every two weeks and hold them up to him to see if they fit - and make sure they're washed first! It's amazing how much they shrink and what looks huge on the hanger will be tiny in the dryer. I nearly missed using all of our three month Carter's clothing because it wasn't washed. I am literally thinking of starting an Excel chart to keep track of how brands fit him. 
  • I love it when Eli falls asleep in my arms but he never does anymore. About three times a week I attempt to make him fall asleep while I hold him and he just gets angrier and angrier at me for holding him. He literally cry-yells at me until I put him down alone. 
  • I intentionally only put what I deem my cutest burp rags in my diaper bag so I look like a "put together mom." Aka, I only use the ones others made for me, not the ones I DIY'd. It's vain, but you never know when someone else will feed your kid and therefore get a close up look at your sewing skills. 

2 comments:

  1. All of these are hysterically true! I absolutely love all of your post! I can confess that I have done similar things! and completely agree with the one about waking baby after a long nap to play and then being bored with playing other times.

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  2. I peed myself reading your story about the Bumbo -- I then forced my coworker to listen as I read the story out loud in hysterics. He' is chubbers and I LOVE it. I want to squeeze those little legs.

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