Before I Became A Parent I ...

  • Figured people said it was a lot harder than it really was.
  • Thought breastfeeding would creep me out.
  • Thought I went to Target a lot (I have probably doubled my frequency now as a SAHM.)
  • Had no idea how much gear a tiny baby requires.
  • Thought I would always remember to bring everything a baby needed on a trip out of the house. (I have about a 50 percent success rate in this arena.)
  • Figured I'd know how and when to start disciplining my child.
  • Thought it was lame that parents kept twelve versions of a nearly identical photo on their phone because they just couldn't decide which one they liked best. 
  • Swore up and down that I would not have cheese be my go-to food.
  • Thought it was annoying when babies would cry when their parents left or worse, just when they were not holding them because they were so attached to them. I also planned on NOT having a child like this. (HINT: As a mom, this is out of your control if you are actually a loving, caring parent.)
  • Didn't truly understand just how wonderful and fabulous an invention online shopping was.
  • Thought I might starve to death when my baby needed something during dinner and I would have to wait an extra five minutes to snarf my meal down.
  • Thought I was sorta smart. Then I had to figure out all the complicated gear a baby comes with and I realized I am dumber than a doornail.
  • Thought I would be grossed out every time my baby coughed or burped in my face, had a runny nose or needed his diaper changed. (I'm only grossed out some of the time.)
  • Didn't value my leisurely grocery shopping trips.
  • Thought I'd be strong enough to carry a carseat and a child for a lot longer.
  • Had no idea how much wiping I would do: noses, butts, tears (mostly my own), the floors, my furniture, the high chair, and on and on and on.
  • Worried it would be hard to stay in at night so my child could get to bed on time.
  • Planned on always hiding all the ugly plastic toys that litter our living room. (I. Give. Up.)
  • Worried that I'd get mad at my baby every time he was fussy. 
  • Anticipated that it wasn't hard to have a clean, well-dressed child.
  • Figured it'd be easier to let my baby CIO.
  • Thought I knew a thing or two about parenting.
  • Didn't understand how parents could look at pictures of their baby when they were sleeping in the other room because they missed them so much.
  • Thought I would always know when my kid was too noisy at an event and I should leave. (For some reason there's always this hope that he'll stop after that last wail he let out.) 
  • Had no idea how much my heart would nearly burst with pride, happiness and joy every time I looked at my son. 


  1. I agree with tons of these - but smiled especially about the "thought i would always know when my kid is too noisy" one. I've realized since becoming a parent that I can tune out crying and other disruptive sounds that kids make. My tolerance for noise is much much higher! A few years ago, I would have heard a baby whimper and thought, "shhh...take your child out!" And now I don't hear kids unless they are even then I'm thining, "I'll pray for you mamma - no worries!"

  2. I do the same thing! I rarely hear a child crying any more, unless it's my own! It's so weird - I actually love that I can tune kids out - except when I'm babysitting. Then it's a bad thing. :)

  3. Oh my gosh yes! I can relate to many of these! In fact almost all of them - except that I'm a working mom so my Target trips are probably less - but the rest of them - yep! Amen sister!