Hey guys, just stopping in to chat for a minute today. It's been a long couple weeks for me as Mike's been working a lot. Those of you with husbands that travel a lot, I don't know how you do it. I've been thinking about this post on how motherhood is lonely quite a bit, and I think I would add something to it - that often, that loneliness is simply for your husband, not for other people.
I've had plenty of things to do over the past few weeks, and actually have kept very busy. Not to mention, keeping Eli alive is becoming quite the arduous task as he's --- wait for it --- army crawling!!! (And here I thought the kid would be rolling into his first day of kindergarten.) We have swimming lessons to go to, lots of play dates to attend and I'm keeping busy at home planning his first birthday, redecorating the living room and fulfilling quite a few hosting commitments we made before we knew he'd be working so much.
It's hard to host alone. And even harder to just eat alone. That 5 p.m. - 8 p.m. time slot is really, really hard for me. It's like I have hope all day that Mike will be home at a normal time, then the five o'clock hour hits and I start getting fearful that Mike won't be home for a while and as every minute passes the anxious and grumpy feelings start taking over my heart more and more. Do you know how much more awful it is to mop for the eleventy billionth time that day when your husband is not home?
The thing is, I'm lonely, but not for other people, I'm lonely for one person - Mike. Having him home in the evening gives me so much relief. There's just something about knowing that I don't have to be the only one to care for Eli that makes me feel better - even if I'm the one that still ends up doing all the major care-taking. Plus, Mike's the only one that wants to hear a play by play of Eli and I's day. (Let's be honest, it's usually a bit boring.) Mike cares about what song we had an impromptu dance party to, what comments the lady at the store made on Eli's hair, and even how much he pooped or didn't poop.
And Mike cares about me - he wants to hear about the letters I mailed, the new rug I ordered, and if I should make the banner blue or red for Eli's party. Admittedly, sometimes I offer too much information but I'm working on that, and thankfully Mike is especially talented at offering emotionally appropriate responses at regular intervals during my boring rambles.
My family is coming for a short visit today and I think it will help. They're the next best thing to Mike and I can't wait to see them. And hopefully Mike's heavy work schedule will lighten up soon, but until then, Eli and I will keep perfecting the army-crawl and "howling like nine dogs on a moonlit night." A line from Eli's new favorite book, "Doggies." He literally howls like a wolf and it is the most adorable thing you've ever seen, until I get nightmares about The Grey later that night when Eli does it in his sleep ....
How about you all? Can any of you relate? How do you cope when your husband isn't around very much?