New Mom Confessions

I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant or just because I'm around kids so much but I feel like I smell poopy diapers all. the. time. I find I'm constantly checking Eli or making comments like "Whew! Someone's stinky!" so other momma's are prompted to check their kiddos. Lately, I've found Eli walking around saying "Phew! Whew! Stinky!" and waiving his hand under his nose while shaking his head.

The other day I got to hold a new-ish baby girl and in about 5 second flat she started crying. I figured actually having raised a child would have given me a leg-up on knowing how to calm her, but I'll admit, I didn't know what to do and looked over to the momma with pleading-eyes to take her back. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll never be a kid-person.

I have to strategically order the way I give Eli his food during meals. Mike and I can't even eat chips with our enchiladas and rice, because if Eli sees the bag it's all he'll ask for/eat for the rest of the night.

Eli recently hit me in the nose/cheek/eye area with a small metal toy firetruck. It hurt more than I care to admit. And what I hate to admit more was that I was actually truly mad at him for it. All I wanted to do was act like a toddler and give him a taste of his own medicine by whacking him back. I held off, promise.

I truly am so excited to have this baby girl, but I have literally done nothing - NOTHING - to prep for her. All I do is search Pinterest for big, huge, beautiful headbands and even more fun, TURBANS. (Oh for goodness sakes, the adorableness of turbans killllls me.) But seriously, with my first, I spent hours researching things like, oh, I don't know, how to keep him alive, and this time all I care about are fashion accessories.

Speaking of baby girl, I'm convinced she knows my hand apart from anyone else's. She's at that point where her high kicks and fist pumps are obvious to anyone who puts a hand on my belly from the outside, but as soon as she feels someone else's hands on her home it seems like she freezes up and gets a little stage-fright. It's annoying. I don't like being made to look crazy.

I'm convinced Eli saves his worst tantrums for when we're in public. His new go-to moves to show his displeasure includes letting out three or four huge, bloodcurdling screams in a row, each at least 10 seconds long, followed by hitting himself in the face, ripping at his glasses and just generally writhing in my arms/on the floor. I'm trying to be better, but in those moments, I'm so embarrassed, I'll do anything - anything to get Eli to stop - even if it means giving him a cookie.


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