This Is How I Feel, XIX

After every. single. contraction. (Before the epidural.)

When I think about how wonderful working epidurals are.
In the middle of the night when Colette's crying for the zillionth time for reasons I can't figure out, and I'm just trying to hold it together. 

The morning after an all nighter because - a newborn and a toddler. Duh.

When thinking about how they usually make you wait at least a half hour after you request an epidural before actually give it to you.

After I got the epidural and I couldn't feel anything but pressure.

When wondering why the hospital can't provide better cafeteria food.

When I'm changing Colette's diaper and she's crying because it's cold.

About every sleep-solution book. Ever. 

The first few times I woke up in the middle of the night at the hospital and remembered I had a new baby.
After delivery in the middle of the night, when the nurse wants to come in and check my blood pressure - AGAIN. 

When I accidentally forget to support Colette's head and it flops all over the place and I'm hoping no one noticed.

When Colette's bawling in a public place and someone tells me, "Oh, she must be hungry." 

When I hear Colette make a noise in the middle of the night and am worried for a second it's going to turn into something more - but it doesn't. 

When anyone besides me makes Colette cry. #mommabear


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