Writing About The New

It sort of feels funny to be back here writing. I wanted a break, but now I'm not so sure how to break the break other than to bulldoze right through it. After everything in the past few months, I needed some time to myself to decompress, think and write with a pen and paper, rather than with the keys. I needed to write knowing no one was watching, analyzing, judging. Not that you are, but it's different - I'll just assume you understand.

It's been a long, long road to get to where I am now. There's much of me that didn't even know if I'd make it here, that couldn't believe that this is what was next, at this time, in this place. But we're here, we're settling, we're making do and doing well. These past few weeks have been busy with home renovations (It's almost done!), decorating, forcing myself to cook again, getting the kids on a consistent schedule and giving them more of me than I have in months, learning to be content with a husband that works a lot, and praying that I'll make friends.

Lately, I've had more blog content than I've known what to do with, but sometimes, I think it's just best to step back and live with it all for a bit, you know?

So that's what I've been doing. Blogging the old school way in my journal or sometimes in Blogger drafts when my thoughts run too fast for the hand-cramps a pen brings. I have a few posts that I wrote a while ago but was never quite ready to publish, but with a little breathing room, I think they're ready. They're from some dark times over the past few months when I hit a wall, and then I hit it again, and again, and again. But that's real life, isn't it?

There's a lot of changing that has been going on in this heart, there's part of me that wants to say my heart is just being chiseled, refined, tweaked, but really it's been blasted to bits and kicked to the curb - all to be replaced with an entirely new one.

And if you weren't sure, that's a good thing.

So now I'll be back here, writing about the new.

2 comments:

  1. Glad you are back, and had time to breathe a bit.

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  2. i hear you! when we got married, my husband's job was (and still is) in a rural area. he works 55 hours a week on average so it was just me alone most of the time. making friends as a grown up seems so much harder than it did as a kid! you'll make some awesome friends soon, i know it :)

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