For The Weary Mom: When The Days Are Long And It Doesn't Matter That The Years Are Short

They say to enjoy this, it goes by so fast. That the days are long but the years are short. And even with only littles in our homes, we know they are right. These are the days they say we'll want back, that when our tinies walk across that podium at 18, it will be all we can do to not wish they were still our chubby-cheeked toddlers climbing into our laps.

And we know they are right.

It is not all difficult, and we know that. It is not all trying or exhausting. Well, it is all exhausting, that part is true. (I honestly cannot believe the physical toll raising small children has laid on my body.)

But we know they are right. That the days are long, but the years are short. And we do remember that.
But sometimes, it's really hard. Sometimes, the days are so long that you just want to quit. That you don't care if the years are short. That you can't focus on the years, because the day is what's in front of you now, and you're not sure how you're going to make it through the witching hour tonight without screaming.

You know that "you signed up for this," and "you should be so grateful you even have children," And you ARE. YOU ARE.

You know all these things. You know they say you'll regret it if you wish this night away, but in that moment, you wonder, "Will I really? Because I'm hoping I can just block this night from my memory forever."

You're struggling and weary. On this day, you're just done. You're sick of choosing who to give attention to and who's need to meet first. You just want to shower without hearing phantom cries, walk around without tripping on a toy, not be touched for a least an hour, and spend one full day in a shirt that doesn't get a stain.

Even though you know you're not supposed to, you feel a low level of mom-guilt about not playing with your kids, being on your phone too much, or not keeping your house clean enough. You feel bad about not getting dinner on the table, or maybe, spending too much time ignoring your kids while you get dinner on the table. You want an organized and picked up home, but also don't want your kids feeling like they live in a museum. You choose not to be the crazy, over anal mom about a runny nose, but it seems every. single. time you do it turns into something bigger, something worse, something requiring medical attention - and always, always, always on a weekend.

Sometimes, the days are so long you can't see the short years ahead. You know the truth thousands upon thousands of mothers have warned you of, to enjoy these moments they go by so fast, but in that moment, you'd give anything to shake off their advice and make bedtime come just a little bit faster.

It's hard when you know the truth of how you should feel vs. the way you actually feel. You never wanted to feel like this. Pre-kids, you swore you would never wish away the time. You told yourself you wouldn't be "that mom" that can't seem to ever get it together or always looks overwhelmed, dirty and a little bit strung out. But that is the past and today is today whether you like it or not, that is the mom you've become.

You know they are right, but you can't help how you feel.

But just because you feel something, doesn't mean that's all there is to the story. You are more than just this one night, this one difficult day, week or month. And I know if I asked you, you would tell me with all honesty and sincerity that with every fiber in your being that you LOVE being a mom. That no matter how long the days get you know it's all worth it. That you love this job and these children and every day you spend with them through it all. The truth is always there among the struggle.. There will be days you survive and days you thrive. Days it's easy and days it's hard. It's not that it's one or the other - it's both. Motherhood always seems to me like one big bundle of contrasting emotions

So let's be honest, you may not like it now, but you really do know what they mean when they say, "Enjoy every moment, it goes by so fast," and you do not need to roll your eyes every time it is said.

Because they are right.

The days are long but the years are short. You are not alone. We're in this together. You hear it here there and everywhere but it can still be hard to believe. You are not the only mother being pulled in 1,200 different directions. The only mother Googling their brains out for how to get two kids to nap at the same time. The only mother begging your toddler to eat just one carrot, just one, in exchange for a handful of m&m's. The only mother that can be so frustrated yet so enamored and in love all at the same time. 

We're in this together. We've all eaten our pre-parent words, and finally we know what they mean.

The days are long but the years are short. Tomorrow is a new day and things always seem better in the morning. So push up that bedtime if you need to and remember - you are more than just this long day of today. You feel strung out, frazzled and stressed, but it will get better.  So find peace with the mother you are today and remember, deep down you do enjoy it! And then let today turn into tomorrow and tomorrow into those "short years," and then one day, in the not so distant future, you can look back and say that they were right - it went by fast  - but you enjoyed it.

Like this post? I share a whole lot more on this motherhood gig over on Facebook (Oakland Avenue) and Instagram (@laurawifler) and I'd love it if you followed along!

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