To Be Faithful
I know I sound like a broken record, but I can't believe all that happened in 2015. So much of "me" got put on the backburner while I held on for dear life to the train that wouldn't, couldn't stop. The blog suffered the most. But I suppose, looking back, I wouldn't change anything - anywhere that I spent my time. I did what I could to keep this place afloat - even when I didn't have any extra energy to give here, knowing and believing I would want to come back to it someday when things settle down. And I'm hoping, that day is today.
After all that talk about self-care a few months ago, this coffee shop time is the result. Because of my husband's hours and the lack of free family babysitters in Chicago, we've found a wonderful woman from our church to watch the kiddos most Wednesdays for a couple hours so I can have time to do whatever my little kid-free heart desires. Which will almost always be spending time here on the blog, this place I've grown to love so much.
As I thought about what I wanted for the year ahead, I just kept thinking, "I don't want anything. I want everything to stay the same. No changes. No major life events. No nothing. Just boring. Totally lame. Blah. That's what I want."
But really, it's not that I want a boring year (though in a sense I do!) what I really want is to finally feel like I can semi-keep up with my life. Like I have some head space. Like I can plan ahead a little instead of just trying to juggle all the plates in the moment, with people tossing me more and more and more - only to drop most of them and have them shatter at my feet.
The trendy thing to do lately is to use one word to define your year ahead. I've never done it, but this year I am. As I was thinking about 2016, what I really want is to be faithful. To be faithful in my quiet times and walk with the Lord, spending time each day to cultivate a relationship with Him, building in my knowledge and love for the cross. To be faithful as a wife and mother - getting back to making real meals for my family, going on walks, spending time just "being" a family instead of trying to fill out paperwork in one hand while building a tower with another. I want to be faithful in my friendships, both new and old, celebrating accomplishments and mourning sorrows - and actually be available and helpful when things happen. To be faithful be in taking care of myself, eating better, exercising (maybe?), and taking the time to dream my dreams again and maybe even take a few steps towards them.
While I don't want much, if any change in 2016, there are a few balls already rolling which started in the fall of 2015 that I am so excited for in 2016. One of them, you already heard about, my sister-in-law and I's new podcast, Risen Motherhood. (Thank you for all of your support thus far - you are amazing!) There's another I'm dying to tell you about, but it will have to wait a few weeks. I'm just trying to get a few more things moving before I share with all of you, but I do hope you'll be as excited as I am.
In a lot of ways, 2015 was the year God asked me to answer the question, "Do you believe that I am good? Do you believe that I am for you?" And often, that answer was, "I believe, help my unbelief!" But today I can tell you with all certainty: He is good. He is for me. He loves me.
And if that was the point of all of the crazy in 2015, then it was a year well worth it. Here's to a new year in 2016, to being faithful, and learning new lessons along the way.
*photo via unsplash.