More Them, Far Less Me

Yesterday was my first full day back with these two after, well, way to many days apart. Because I've been away from them for so long, yesterday was one of those days I just wanted to soak them in, to sit on the floor and watch them play, to hold them on my lap and kiss every inch of their face I can, to close my eyes and just listen to them breathe.

It was a slow day here, not much going on, just catching up with life before it began again.

This is how I wished I lived every day. I wish I always sat and snuggled extra long before naps, attempted to explain answers to questions like, "Why is the sun is so bright?" while we play outside, played peek-a-boo after lunch instead of washing the dishes right away, and truly listened to every word of the stories about monster trucks driven by grizzly bears. I wish I was more present, more approachable, more personable, more attentive, more slow.

 Really, I wish I was more them, and far less me.

 In the shuffle of life, we're quick to forget what our children really need from us, just ... us. Ourselves. Their mom. They don't need special toys, name-brand clothes, the top pre-school in the city, the right iPad games, the best food or exciting trips, what they need is you. They need your undivided attention as they tell another story instead of a half listening ear as you do something else. They need your honest answer when they ask a question, instead of another quick, "Hmmhmm," or "I'm not sure honey," to get them to stop talking. They need you to get off Facebook or Instagram or any of the one billion other distractions the phone carries in your hands and hold them instead. They need to you to say "Yes," when they ask you to lay with them in bed for five more minutes instead of rushing through the songs and prayers so you can watch your show on the couch.

Isn't it funny that the thing our children need most is often one of the hardest things for us as mothers to give? It sounds like a simple thing, just giving our kids "ourselves," but if we're honest, it's not easy at all.

It goes against everything in us to sacrifice our rights, needs, desires and wants over and over and over again, to serve someone else.

 It is the hard path to love our children well.

But someday, the Lord will ask you to give an account for what you did with the eternal souls he entrusted to you during your time on Earth. Will you be able to say that you used your words, your thoughts, your hands to invest well in your children? Will you be able to say you were wholeheartedly committed to motherhood and His purposes?

I don't want to come to that day and have to say that I lived divided. That I only gave my children half of me. That while I might have been physically present, my heart was somewhere else. Because my children are worth far more than any to-do list, dream or goal I have.

Choose the hard path momma. Lay down your rights, your needs, your desires and wants and serve your children. Love on them. Give yourself to them, for these little ones will last far longer than any other thing you do or accomplish in this life.

pssst, I'm also over on Espresso and Cream today talking about the Risen Motherhood podcast!

Like this post? I share a whole lot more on this motherhood gig over on Facebook (Oakland Avenue) and Instagram (@laurawifler) and I'd love it if you followed along!

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