Why You Don't Have To Enjoy Every Moment As A Mom

Like every parent, I'm often told to, "enjoy every moment, because it goes by too fast." And for the record,  I already know they are right. But you know those awful moments? Like those mornings where all your kids use telepathy to cry all at once, there's poop on the floor, you've got breastmilk leaking through your shirt, you step on a digger - not once - but three times, and you haven't eaten breakfast, and everything is just chaos, exhausting, need, pain, gross, need, need, pain, gross ...

You know those mornings?

Yeah, I'm going to bet, "enjoying it" is the last thing you're trying to do.

But it's funny, because sometimes, in those moments, that's exactly the phrase that runs through my head. "Enjoy every moment momma, it goes by so fast!" And then I want to take that stupid digger to my brain and tell it to stop talking to me because that's INSANE.

But here's the deal. When people say that? To enjoy it because it goes so fast? They're not talking about that horrible morning you had, they're talking about all of the moments together. Because there's this magical, mysterious thing about motherhood that when you start to look back, somehow, someway it's usually only the good memories that bubble to the surface. Those moments that feel like ten-million-awful-years fade and the moments that go by in just ten short seconds - those are the ones you remember.

A smile with four new teeth, rolly-polly thighs, the hilarious quotes by your toddler, seeing your kid's rosy cheeks while sleeping, hearing them say that you're their best friend - and laughter, oh the glorious laughter. Those are what we will remember. That is what these ten-million-year-mornings are made up of.

So don't feel a hint of mom-guilt next time you hear it. Those women aren't speaking from where you are, deeeeep in the trenches. They're speaking from memory, nostalgia. It's a bit delusional, yes, but someday, we'll all be there too.

I have no doubt, someday I'm going to look back on my days of raising little kids and think, "Oh, that was so fun! I really enjoyed it. It went so fast!"

But I hope when I get there and I see another mom like me, strung-out with tantrum-laden kids at the grocery store - I'll tell her enjoy it, sure, but also, that it's okay to cry too. It's okay that it's hard. It's okay to hide in the bathroom for a little bit, and it's okay to completely block out those horrible mornings where you step on a digger way too many times - just like I have.

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