When You Doubt God's Goodness (enCourage)

It was about a year ago the doubt began. We had just moved across states, a three month old and a not-quite two year old in tow, living in temporary housing while we renovated a house. I didn’t necessarily want to move, but a new job opportunity for my husband called, and I agreed, wanting him to pursue his dreams. As the weeks ticked by with a colicky newborn, and nap-striking toddler, and no friends or family available for support in a unfamiliar city, the doubt grew. Slowly at first, but soon spreading, infecting, deepening its roots in my heart.

 As I watched my toddler play with the handful of toys we brought to temporary housing, I found myself thinking about all that had happened: the move, the baby, the toddler tantrums, the long hours my husband worked, the colic, the loneliness, the fear – the feeling of abandonment by God. I was wallowing in self-pity, feeling unloved and unseen by a Father that I had always been close to. I began to believe the lie that I am the orphan, knowing I have a father, but never feeling his love, joy and affection for me.

The lies crept further in telling me that I was overlooked by God, unremembered, passed over. I was disappointed with God and questioned his goodness when he didn’t answer my pleas. I was asking him for a change, for the good gifts he promises me in his word, but as the weeks ticked by with nothing but the same struggles, I began to question if God cared for me at all ... to read more visit the enCourage blog. I'm honored to be guest posting over there today!


Post a Comment