We Will Go To The Zoo

This post is sponsored by FLYJOY. All opinions are my own. 

We're just waiting for one more piece of paperwork to come in to complete our dossier for the adoption! Once that last piece comes back from Washington, I'll send a huge package of documents off to our agency, who will then send it on to the Bulgarian government for approval and cross-your-fingers, we'll be eligible for children!

(For those of you wondering what a dossier is - basically, it's a collection of documents that officially represents our family to the government saying to them, "Hey! We're totally normal, responsible people and we'd like to adopt two kids and make them U.S. citizens.")

Cannot. Wait. 
I  know they say waiting is the hardest part of the adoption, but at this point, I'm so ready to start waiting! Last week we completed a majority of our paperwork, getting final documentation and everything notarized and apostilled and honestly, I've felt so strung out over these past couple of months trying to keep track of everything and get it all as perfect as possible, that once we completed everything we could thus far, I nearly cried on the elevator leaving the Secretary of State's Index Department.

To celebrate, we went to the zoo the next day and we had a great day as a family just putzing around. It had rained that morning so there was hardly anyone there and it felt like we had the place to ourselves.

It's so hard to believe that soon these two will be joined by two more - and that when our Bulgarian babies come home, they'll probably be about the age Eli and Colette are today. 
Just sorta blows my mind when I think about it. 

Colette's obsessed with roaring like a lion and making fish sounds, and Eli's obsessed navigating the photos on the map and telling me which animals we need to see next – and which ones we missed and need to go back for.

They're both also obsessed with eating their way through the park, so of course I brought along FLYJOY bars as an easy, clean and healthy snack. Every ingredient in their bars is gluten-free, soy-free, non-GMO and vegan, so I love that I can trust what they're made up of and trust that my kiddos will gobble them right up. 
All day, I just kept wondering, "What will my other two children be like? Which animals will be their favorite at the zoo? Will they like the bird show like Eli, or will they be totally bored like Colette? Will they want to ride in the stroller most of the time like Colette, or run ahead like Eli?"

It's fun to think of what our future children will be like, (Of course, I know they'll be totally unique in their own ways too.) but at the same time, it can be hard to think too deeply about them. There's something about knowing they're probably already born, out there without anyone to personally care for and love them. Without anyone to kiss their booboos, tuck them in at night and tell them they love them first thing when they wake in the morning. It tugs and rips at my heart to think about the reality they are facing right this very moment – while I'm enjoying a morning at the zoo. 
I think about all the privileges my bios have – and what a contrast that must be to an orphan's reality. It cuts into me, to a point that I honestly just can't think in depth about it. But even still, my future children always remain, lingering in the back of my mind. I think of them all the time. As I set the table, I envision the day I'll set two more. As I dress my 19 month old I wonder if one of our future children will wear the same shirt someday. As I buckle two carseats, I think of the day I will buckle four. 
I ache for my adopted children already. I only wish that somehow they could know that there is a family a half a world a way that already dreams of the day they will be united with them. And that family has a huge extended family that cannot wait to meet them. That they have a brother and a sister, grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles and SO many cousins that all can't wait for them to officially join the family. And on top of that, there is a huge, wonderful community that is constantly praying for them and loving them, even though they don't know them. 

I wish I could tell them, but I can't. At least not right now. But I take heart in knowing that someday, I can. Someday I can tell them over and over again how wanted they were. How though they didn't know it yet, God had an awesome plan for them. How even when they were in the orphanage in Bulgaria, God was working in a house in Chicago to unite them with their forever family. 

Someday I will tell them the awesome, amazing story of how our family came to be. 

And then, as a family, we will go to the zoo. 

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